Chasing the dragon. Money

| 2 min read

Today reading alkonaut's comment in this hackernews thread really resonated:

I got my higher education for free. I expect to save nothing for my children or their education. I expect to have to put aside very little for retirement. The thing is, I just can’t find an argument why I should be able to get very rich doing my job. It’s a comfortable job. It pays a good salary. I got here by taking no risk at all.

Being a fellow European in a very comfortable position I can't avoid feeling the same. This has caused some internal friction, since I see that the drive behind most of my product/startup building efforts is chasing wealth. But, what for?

My current lifestyle is plenty covered by my salary, on a job that I quite enjoy, and I have enough extra to save for when things get ugly. So why seek more?

Buying more or expensive stuff doesn't make me happier anymore. Yeah, I could travel more, or buy that van I have been thinking off lately. But let's be honest, I don't need to build a successful product for that. And If I go that route, what is the cost?. Time?

I catch myself often trying to fool myself into believing that it is a matter of investing time once to earn profits for a lifetime, but if you know anything about the indie product building scene you know that this is far from true. It's a lie we tell ourselves to keep going: "The next project will be the one. Just build it, sit back watching it grow and collect that sweet MRR".

If what is driving my desire to build new products, is money... perpetuating this cycle sounds kinda stupid:

Spend free time to build stuff -> Earn money selling stuff -> Use money to buy free time.

It feels like chasing to increase the score, just to make the number grow, like in a video game. Driven by pure inertia. This is not a rant against capitalism or anything. But getting on practical terms, it starts to feel a bit absurd.

The hard truth I had to face recently is that the product that brought me the most joy got me exactly 0€ (actually it is costing me monthly). But I have seen its huge impact in the life of it's single user.

I'm trying to understand this because the great desire to build something big and successful I had once has faded quite a bit. I lack the hunger anymore. And it all comes to the fact that chasing money feels empty at this point.

And yet I can't stop constantly thinking about new stuff to build and generate profit. Like a hamster running in it's little wheel.